Dig A Little Deeper

Saturday, January 22, 2005


Well, I have finally done it... I am creating an online journal for you all to view! I guess I just decided I needed to put all of these thoughts down somewhere, and yes I have a lot them. Thats all I ever do is just sit and think about things. So, all of you who continue to read this on a regular basis will be become quite familiar with me and everything I am into, and everything I am not into. Just remember, this journal or blog or whatever isn't for you..so don't judge me or say i ramble or who cares or whatever you ppl say when you read an online journal. This is for me, so I can let everything that i keep inside, out. So just let it be.
I'll start with my day today:

Well actually it all starts from yesterday (you need to understand what happened yesterday, to understand how I got to today) Anyways I was having an extremely shitty day, you know the mental breakdown type thing where you aren't sure the purpose or meaning of your life? Yeah it was lovely. It was one of those "feel sorry for Jenny" days, and wow was it a whopper. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I listen to very depressing music. MMM its not meant to be depressing, but when I listen to it, I listen to the words and analyze them..another wonderful trait of mine, overanalyzing, anyways this new guy I'm listening to (By the way, his name is Matt Nathanson) is absolutley fabulous...actually better than the Graham Colton band I must say. But anyways what I was getting to was the fact that I go to letssingit.com on a regular basis and read and reread all of his songs and somehow find a way to relate them to my life and then it depresses me.
Due to my sucky day, I put up and extremely depressing profile on AIM with a very almost pyschotic (sp?) away message. I really should have rethought that rash decision before doing it, but I just wanted everyone to, you know, "feel sorry for me" ahhh.. anyways I guess I didn't realize that so many ppl read my away message and profile and actually cared about me. (okay that was kind of a feel bad for me quote again...man am i pathetic) so i get numerous ims asking if i was okay and asking what was wrong including my two favorite people in the world...kelli and jessica. So Kelli ends up calling me and i talk to jessica online and by the end of our conversation...we are all full on crying. This shows what a great sister and friend i have, i mean no one quite gets me like they do or can make me laugh harder than i ever had or cry harder than i ever had. No matter how crazy or stupid or i am (which i can be both) , or when i am totally unsocial feeling and being very bitchy to both of them, they are there and still my bestfriends ..with no other people can i laugh outloud for hours (seriously) and no you guys, i do not sound like a pirate when i laugh haha. Anyways they talked and decided that since kelli could not be here jessica had to take the initiative and so i was just sitting here watching a movie bymyself in the dark and i hear a knock on the door. Its jessica. She has bundled up in the cold and rode her bike to my dorm. She immediatley just hugged me and of course I cried again. She said she knew i needed her, so she came. thats why i love jessica and thats why i love kelli too.....because they love me sooo much.
so we talked and decided that the night was going to get better. So she waited and I took a shower and then we were off to her dorm for the night. Well we walked into her room and realized we were being "sexiled" haha...her roommate and bf were obviously pissed off that we had decided to interupt their fun. so we dropped our stuff off and decided to walk up and down every single floor of Bryan hall. Yes..this was our Friday evening fun. Anyways we were halfway down floor 2, boys side, when we see a familiar face. Its mike morse! So we stop and start talking and then his other pals come out and they say hey...want to hang out...and we say hey, why not. So we go over to this kids room and sit and talk. They have like a whole bar setup in their room w/ everything you can imagine. I just had one beer and a shot of something w/ gold nuggets in it or something, but i don't know, doing that didn't seem fun to me at all. haha..Jessica, we do have gold in our bodies now! haha anyways thats all I had, and it was fine, jessica on the other hand had a few more and was definatley enjoying herself. So everyone decides lets go back to jess's room and play cranium. anyways, what the hell am i doing? this was yesterday, i was suppose to be explaining my day today. AHHH well that was yesterday, today i got up at jessicas at like 5am and was freezing, my body was seriously shaking. I got up and stole another blanket from janna's bed and then was fine. Then we all woke up at like 11am when jessica's stupid broadway ringtone went off at record decibals. When i mean we all woke up, i mean me, jess,janna, and janna's bf who slept over too. It was a pARTY!!! jk
we got up and went to breakfast and there of course, in my pajamas was janiv...hottest man alive. jessica and i wonder why it is that every freaking time we decided to just go somewhere in our pjs or not wear makeup and look like total shit, we see hottest man alive (aka janiv).? i mean is it some kind of sick joke? its really starting to piss me off. anyways that made my morning more enjoyable just seeing him haha, but also i had a large sprinkle donut and fruitypebbles which were also quite enjoyable. then we went back and sat and played ddr (dancedancerevolution for all of you ppl who are unaware) that was fun tooo. LIFE WAS LOOKING UP TODAY. and THEN lol i was online at her computer and who's on but John...who would be a pal i met a long time ago on a random walk home from a party. So we start talking and he lives next to jessica. So hes says come over and i say mmm no. haha well not exactly but anyways i convince him to come over ands he brings his guitar and plays some music. It was really really nice. So we continue just hanging out w/ him for a while then he leaves then i decide that i have to leave, because jessica has a date with a pakistany man. His name is Asim (pronounced Awesome, but he changed it when he got here because people he thought would make fun of him, now he pronounces it Awseem)soooooooo i waited for the freaking bus in the blowing snow and finally made it back to homesweethome holden hall. and have been watching tv or been on the computer ever since. Kelli just sent me the link to her "webblog" and told me i should make one..so here it is.
Today's entry was very unproductive. It really tells nothing of how i feel or what i think..its basically just a little story. but you just wait, it'll get so much better. I'm guessing i will be updating throughout the evening on my exciting events due to the fact that well...i am just hanging by myself tonight. i could do homework, since i have let it pile up...but nah


Post a Comment

<< Home