Dig A Little Deeper

Sunday, January 23, 2005

I have obsessions. Certain things that stay on my mind and never comepletely go away. Things that dirve me crazy while im forced to push them to the back of my mind and concentrate on something else. But when Im free to think about them, they fill me with a longing, and they complete me in a way. I want my obsessions to be real, but they are only partly real. Partly real because I let them be. I let myself fall so deeply into them that they are real to me for a split second, then reality comes back to me and they're just obsessions again. But im happy for that split second, i feel what i want to feel. I want my obessions so bad its almost physical. But sometimes i wonder if its not that i want my obessions to be real or more that i just dont want reality to be what it is. I'll never know. Sorry... I'm crazy. My mind works to fast and the thoughts are only understood by me. I tried to make this entry into something someone might be able to understand, but i dont know if you can get the exact feeling i feel by simple words, you would have to have the thought process that i have to go with it.Obsessions and longing can not be achieved without the other...Maybe its just me...

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