Dig A Little Deeper

Sunday, January 23, 2005

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I get so frustrated sometime. So, I talk to this person on the phone tonight and I'm thinking and knowing exactly how I'm feeling. I know how I want this person to see me, I know exactly what I want them to think of me as...I want them to know me...and understand me and understand where I"m coming from. But of course noooo....i get jumbled up in words and end up trying to say things that don't sound as "perfect" as I would have thought and don't give this person the impression I wanted them to get. I HATE IT. I seriouslythe hate the fact that I cannot express myself. It pisses me off that someone thinks I am not the type of person they would want to be with, let along even be friends with. Now what really bothers me is the fact that am I trying to do this for some type of self-gradification? Am I just trying to get the response I want to hear..and then its done? I have come to the conclusion that I am crazy.

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